To the Bereaved Mom on Mother’s Day

To the bereaved mom on Mother’s Day,

Know your not alone. Know your aching heart will hurt more today than most. Know, I along with millions of other grieving moms will spend this day feeling the same as you.

Some of us will shed tears, some will smile for our children who are here with us today, some will put on fake smiles to get through the day. Some my spend the day as they would any other day just to keep the pain of knowing your child isn’t here at ease.

Grieving the loss of your child on a holiday is hard enough, but grieving the loss of your child on special holidays like Mother’s Day…that nudges the heart strings a little more. I have felt lately this day truly isn’t about us, but it’s about our kids. They are the ones that made us a mom. Without them we wouldn’t be here to celebrate this day for the mothers that we are.

For me it’s bittersweet. Like my heart is being pulled between Heaven and Earth loving two little humans who are separated by an eternity. My heart aches for my child not here with me, but my heart is happy for the child I do have here. I often wonder how a grieving heart can be a happy heart all at once. It’s such a tough nail to bite.

I hate that we have to go through the years without our children. That each year as Mother’s Day approaches we feel that anxiety set in days prior, knowing our child still won’t be here. You won’t wake up to breakfast being made, handmade cards and cute homemade gifts that your child made at school.

That was one thing I looked forward to as Grayson grew up. I was excited to receive homemade gifts from him. We often did crafts at home, but one thing I always thought was, I can’t wait to be the one to receive something special made for me for by his little hands.

I am one in millions who will spend this Mother’s Day grieving the loss of their child. Never in my lifetime did I think I would be spending my Mother’s Day without the one who first made me a momma.

This Mother’s Day was going to be extra special. Getting to spend it with my two babies. Spending Mother’s Day with both Grayson and Graysie was something I had thought about even last year and how excited I was. Even though you spend everyday with your babies, having a day in the year dedicated to you holds a special place in all mom’s hearts. It’s a day for you to be loved on by those kiddos that love you most.

No words will heal a mothers broken heart. She will listen, maybe give a slight smile, but the tears that begin to flood her eyes are those that ache to hold her baby one more time. Hearing her child’s name this Mother’s Day may be the best gift she will receive.

I am thankful for the two Mother’s Days I did get with Grayson and I am blessed that I get to spend this Mother’s Day with Graysie.

My heart aches daily to see my son, to hear his laugh, his voice, to see his smile, to feel his touch, to just hold him in my arms, but I am so thankful that I was chosen to be Grayson’s Mom. He has made me the Mom I am today for Graysie and he has shown me that even on my weakest days I am strong.

To all bereaved moms on this Mother’s Day. Know your not alone and that your children love you to no ends. We will make it through this life because of the mom’s we are today, and because our children in heaven make us stronger every day.

Happy Mother’s Day.

 

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