Happy Heavenly Birthday Grayson! Today You Are 3!

To my son on his first heavenly birthday,

My sweet Grayson. Today you are three!

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. Every little detail to a T. I remember how nervous and anxious I was to meet you and to become a mom for the very first time. I wanted to be the best mom. Before you were even born I worried so much about the things you would do in life. I was nervous for your first day of kindergarten or how you would do in your first ball game. I was nervous for the day you would bring your first girlfriend over, because we all know mom’s are the first and only ladies in your life. I worried so much about protecting your from all the hate and unhappiness in the world. Know that the day you were born will forever hold a special place in my heart

I can only imagine how crazy and fun life would be with you today. I always said I could never live without you, but sadly I am. I prayed every night before I closed my eyes for your happiness, health and safety. I’m not sure where it all went wrong.

I have been crying for weeks knowing this day would come, I’ve been anxiously wondering how I would feel once this day arrived and just as I expected I can’t even get through the second paragraph of typing this letter due to the rush of tears that have fogged my eyes.

As the months go by hearing your name becomes harder, for I know the days will continue on and you’re not coming back to me.

Just after your second birthday I had already began a new Pinterest board for your 3rd birthday ideas. I always tried to stay ahead of the game. I had already envisioned a circus/carnival theme party, which would take place outside at our new home. I had pictured you giggling and smiling enjoying the homemade games mommy and daddy would have had set up in the yard for you and your friends to play.

I never once in my life thought your 3rd birthday would be completely different than I had envisioned because never once did I not believe you wouldn’t be here.

I can only imagine how much taller you’d be, how much more sophisticated your vocabulary would be, how much higher you could count, and I know by now your ABCs would be flawless.

I know you and your sister would be the best of friends and you would be teaching her all your tricks to life. I am stating to see many of the same qualities in you both.

I know this is not the life we had planned for you, and know that if I could change the world I would. I will never stop being your voice, I will never let your memory, your beautiful blue eyes, your onery little grin, and your sweet loving personality ever be forgotten.

You are one of the two best things that has ever happened to me.

I know your up there singing happy birthday to yourself just as you did last year. You loved singing happy birthday and at just 2 did a phenomenal job. I’ll be singing it down here on Earth just for you.

I know July 29th will never get easier, but this day will always be your day, Grayson.

I love you forever and always,
Mommy

Grayson Scott Dunham
July 29,2014
6:24pm
8.1 oz.
20.25 in long

*There are video clips in this video, be prepared with a box of tissues.*

 

4 thoughts on “Happy Heavenly Birthday Grayson! Today You Are 3!

  1. You honored your son, by creating memories that you will cherish for all time. This journal Of Grayson must suffice and greet you with a Smile, not sadness, with Joy, not heartache, and every moment that you think of him, will be the lasting tribute to your lovely boy. I can truly see loving Grayson came so easily. 💙

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  2. Happy birthday little man..I just met you today while at the Sheridan library with my little man. I just had to find out more about you! My heart has been melting and breaking at the same time. .I can’t even fathom…..nor hope I never ever ever ever do.. ..you blessed so many. Myself included. .you make me want to be a better mommy and realize to cherish EVERY moment. .giggle. .tantrum. .tears..hugs..smiles..hand holding. .snuggling. .sweet kisses….and so much more. . I thank you for that…so blessed. . You have the best mommy and daddy in the world. Every time we go to the library. .you will touch our hearts and remind me to love every minute we have together. We truly were blessed today to have gotten to know your spunk, smile and bright blue eyes…what a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy you are. Thank you for making me a better mommy. ..you may never know how much you’ve helped me..I’ll never forget what you gave to me though. .and all just with that cute, cheek squish grin.
    .thank you grayson…thank you sweet angel..thank you. . Never met you. .but will never forget you sweetie. Thank you . Dunham’s you did great.. thank you. .God blessed me today. .don’t know why he chose me..but I’m sure it will surface. . I’ll be looking to the heavens for answers on little angel wings….I’m positive the angel will be riding a little hot rod motorcycle. God bless

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  3. Oh, Kayla. My heart goes out to you. Our son was born July 29, 1982 and he would have been 35 years old on July 29th of this year. He, too, had beautiful blue eyes and a smile that warmed my heart and brightened my life beyond measure. I miss him like crazy. Your tribute to your son is beautiful.

    Hugs to you.
    ~Becky

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