Yesterday, December 3rd, we took Grayson’s Christmas tree my aunt made along with his grave blanket to the cemetery. It was a beautiful day for December. I remember last year being a muddy mess when we went out to the cemetery, this year the sun was shining, it was warm enough to wear a thick sweatshirt and it wasn’t as muddy.

These trips to the cemetery have only gotten harder. I brought along our GoPro just to take some short video clips and pictures for me to look back on, and wanted to share with you all.

On our way out, the first song you hear in the video came on and the words couldn’t be more true, “I don’t know how, I don’t know how, Heaven could be better than this.” I think that often. People say Grayson is in Heaven and that he’s in a great place. Really though, life would be better if he were here in my arms. Being at home with his family would be a great place.

On our drive out I saw Brent out the corner of my eye trying to see what I was typing on my phone. I posted this picture with the caption,

Making the best of the hardest days. Graysie is wearing her brother’s plaid shirt to the cemetery to take out his Christmas tree and grave blanket then going to Dull’s Tree Farm to pick out our Christmas tree. Life is hard when your heart is being pulled between Heaven and Earth.

I looked up slightly out the corner of my eye again, and Brent had started crying. Our journey hasn’t gotten any easier. This “2nd round” of holidays we have entered seem harder than the first, but we continue to bring happiness to Graysie even on our hardest days.